I really struggle to fit in at work and where I worked previously I could discuss my art work and people may not have understood but they were willing to be interested and question why I was creating the work.
Where I work now there is no understanding and I have never fitted in, and yet since last year I thought that things had improved to the point that I began to open up about my work and this week I found out that nothing has changed and the people that I thought were interested and seemed more understanding of the work I have been producing are only interested in gossiping about me and judging me without even looking at the work.
In fact one member of staff announced that I have been photographing myself naked on the internet for all to see, in front of many people in other departments within the staff room. As I tried to justify why I have been producing this work I just came over as very sad and pathetic and made this work seem very cheap and I feel dirty actually and humiliated and once again I feel that I do not fit in and I am sad old fat lonely person trying to be something I am not, and this is something I continuously struggle with.
So I attempted to continue this work and I used the Lord’s Pray which is a very important pray for me that in its simplicity is a narrative that helps with my connection with God.
So this pray I used on my skin written in Latin, the reason I used Latin is because it’s a beautiful language and is something that I have never had the opportunity to study and yet there is something ancient and reverent about this language and interlinks into many areas in anatomy and the sciences and in religion.
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